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[whatam_i]

What demands an answer, but asks no question?
....
A telephone.
And I'm not here to answer mine so please leave a message at the sound of the beep.

Comments

Testy texts - say that three times fast

[hobblepot]

What do you think you are you doing??

[It's just after four in the morning, and his beauty sleep has been cruelly interrupted by odd clinking and clanking noises down the hall that sound suspiciously like the ones Ed was responsible for earlier in the day.]

testy testicle texts to test XD

[whatam_i]

I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd finish some work.
What are you doing up?

Are you calling him an angry nut

[hobblepot]

What am I doing?

I am going out of my mind listening to your infernal hammering!

[Needless to say, the question of what kept Ed up in the first place is not on the top of the list.]

Bwhaha not intentionally but it does work XD

[whatam_i]

Oh.
Well you don't have to worry, I'm done with that.

[About five seconds later Oswald will hear the sounds of a drill instead.]

[hobblepot]

Are you insane??

[whatam_i]

No.
I have a certificate of sanity, remember?

post-myrtle business

[hobblepot]

[Nights are long, riddled with dreams of needles and knives and screams that set his teeth on edge. But the days following their brush with death are longer yet, so drug-addled and sleep-blurred that he can’t tell where one ends and the next begins. In his darkest moments, lying awake in bed and alone with his pain, listening into the silence for Ed’s return, it starts to seem as if he’ll be shaky and weak and useless for the rest of his life. Forced to give up the fight for Gotham, his fight for a place in its history. And it scares him.

But then he wakes up one morning to breakfast in bed and is able to down bites of French toast and scrambled egg without battling nausea. And realizes, after carefully maneuvering his legs over the bedside, that he doesn’t need that second pill with his juice. That he can make that trip to the bathroom without having to stop and lean on the doorway to catch his breath. And eventually, that he can shower, even if it takes twice as long and he has to spend most of it down on the bench, gently soaping his sutures. The difference between being sponge-bathed and sloughing off his clothes and feeling the hot water on his skin, pounding the stiff, guarded muscles of his shoulders, is night and day. The cubicle is hard to leave.

When he finally limps out, drying and dressing himself, he feels exhausted but triumphant. It’s a good day to be alive – and he resolves to enjoy the borrowed time he has left, starting by sitting out on the second floor balcony and quietly contemplating the dawning day between sips of his orange juice. There is room for one more at the small round table; there always will be.]

[whatam_i]

[A childish part of Ed wants to spend every night by Oswald's side, seeking confirmation that he is there and okay but the adult in him realizes that he won't actually get any rest like that. His body will always be half awake and on alert should Oswald need him, so as much as it pains him he starts sleeping in his own bed at least half the time. He is exhausted from weeks of taking care of his partner and he needs to re-charge.

Which is why on this particular morning he actually sleeps in well past his usual time, Olga is around today and no doubt she will take care of Oswald's breakfast and when he finally gets up to check on Oswald he is pleasantly surprised to find him up, showered and out on the little second floor patio.]

Good morning.

[He says as comes outside, carrying a mug of coffee with him.]

[hobblepot]

[The sound of Ed's voice puts a sudden pang in his throat - and a strange and powerful yearning overwhelms him, a yearning, somehow, for someone who never left. He offers Ed a smile over his shoulder, the corners of his eyes crinkling.]

Isn’t it just? [He takes Ed in with a fond, weary look, waiting for him to settle.] ...You look well.

[whatam_i]

So do you.
In fact, you look rather dandy.

[He says with a bright smile and leans in to kiss Oswald's cheek.]

Feeling a bit stronger today?

[hobblepot]

[Oswald flushes faintly under Ed's lips, looking down at himself as if he's only just noticing that he is, in fact, dressed. It’s not a brocade robe Ed hasn’t seen before. But a fresh change of clothes is no doubt an improvement.]

I was... [he says, with a chuckle] and now that I have gotten comfortable, getting up again seems quite impossible. But I do not find myself in any particular rush this morning.

[There’s none of his restlessness now; just a rare sense of peace, for once, with the idea of doing nothing at all. It's the first time in years when he has stopped to watch the sun, to feel the shivery warmth of it on his skin. He's surprised that he missed this, too.]

...Beautiful, is it not? [He motions vaguely to the sprawling expanse of his yard.] The sun is shining, a gentle breeze is blowing... I honestly cannot remember the last time the weather was this agreeable.

[His bones are grateful for the drier air.]

[whatam_i]

Why rush when we can just sit and enjoy ourselves. After all I think we've earned it.

[He points out and shifts his chair a little closer to Oswald's, reaching over to lace his hand through the other's while he sips his coffee and looks out at the sunshine.]

It's rare for weather like this in Gotham.

[He's going to take it as a good omen.]

Did Olga get you breakfast already?

A text, sent very late in the middle of the night

[hawk_shot]

You were right
A lot happened this week and you were right.

[whatam_i]

[He isn't sleeping so he sees the text right away but doesn't answer, first he argues with himself for a bit about how to respond, in the end though he finally texts back.]

How bad is it?

[No gloating but no apology either, he doesn't think he should have to say sorry for being right.]

[hawk_shot]

[Curled up and wrapped in a borrowed blanket, Kate lays on her side, on a borrowed bed. She has barely been talking to Ed lately, not since the Riddler gave her that info. Not since things started going crazy and she got lost thinking the superhero life was fun and easy.]

Let's start with the tracksuit mafia (they actually wear tracksuits!) throwing molotov bombs into my apartment.
Then a Black Widow showed up trying to murder Clint.
And then she threw me off a rooftop.

[It's easier to talk about this, to pretend it was all just a crazy week.]

[whatam_i]

[When Kate sends back a longer text Ed puts down the soldering iron he was using and frowns at the phone screen.]

Were you able to land okay?

[hawk_shot]

Yeah, she actually put a cable on me. And I landed on Christmas lights.

[whatam_i]

Owch. Those can hurt.

An audio message - After having a conversation with Alfred

[hawk_shot]

"Hey. Was just calling to say Lucky and I settled at the hotel. It's pretty fancy and the people are super nice. I really like the gym and the spa service is pretty cool. I think you'll like it if you come to visit."

She's probably going to stay here for a couple of weeks, at least. Hopefully he'll come visit this soon.

"I read mom's letter and talked to Alfred after that. And now I think I really need to ask you a favor. Or maybe Oswald can do it. I don't know. Please call me?"

[whatam_i]

[It takes a few hours but he does call her back.]

Colour me intrigued.
What's the favour?

[hawk_shot]

[By the time he calls, she's at the gym, hitting the elliptical machine in the hopes of focusing on her body to distract her mind.

She's panting as she picks up.]

Hey! So, I was wondering, do you think you could have an insider at my mom's prison?

[whatam_i]

[There's a pause.]

You mean like a prison guard or something? Why? Do you want her killed?

[hawk_shot]

What? No! No, of course I don't want her killed! Why would I want her dead? [Kate's eyes widen as she realizes she's had that little outburst in public. She looks around, making sure she's still alone at the gym.

As she speaks up again, she does it in whispers.]

I want to know if she's safe in there. I need someone to watch her back.

[whatam_i]

I don't know, because she upset you?

[This is said as if it's totally normal to stab or kill people who upset you.]

Well I can tell you right now, she probably isn't. It's prison, Kate. Not a country club.
....although it is a rich person jail so maybe it is.
I wouldn't know.

for @deadbirdarising

[whatam_i]

[When Jason wakes up on Valentine's Day there is a green envelope taped to his door, inside is a letter and it reads:

Forever in my heart is where you will be,
Nobody else will enter because you have the only key.

Also inside the envelope is a key that has a very small inscription on the side, it's a series of numbers. Is this a riddle? Of course it is.]