Inbox

[whatam_i]

What demands an answer, but asks no question?
....
A telephone.
And I'm not here to answer mine so please leave a message at the sound of the beep.

Comments

[hawk_shot]

Who's that?
Not sexy MILF Barbara, I'm guessing.

Of course.
So, what should we do next? We've already been out for drinks.
And I feel you're not a clubbing, going dancing kinda guy.

[whatam_i]

No.
His name is Jim Gordon.

I like dancing, so long as it's something like the foxtrot or swing.

[hawk_shot]

Did he beat you at rogue poker?

So... What about dancing to something from this decade?

[whatam_i]

No.
He's not a rogue, he's a detective with the GCPD.

Oh
Uh.
I don't know how to do that then.

[hawk_shot]

Oh!
And he used to be a friend from work?

Yeah, figured.
It would be kinda weird to see you in something tight, all sweaty and dancing to Lady Gaga.
Hot, but weird.

[whatam_i]

Yes.
Although now I wonder if he was ever really my friend or if he was just pitying me.

Urm no thank you.
That would make me very uncomfortable.

[hawk_shot]

Why would he pity you?

I thought you liked the grinding and getting sweaty part.
At least in private.

[whatam_i]

Because I was a lonely little weirdo and he was the handsome ace detective.

Well yes, of course.
But that's in private.

[hawk_shot]

Bullshit. You were clearly the cute nerdy guy.

Will you dance again with me in private?
I can try not to step on your toes like last time.

[whatam_i]

That's not what most people think of me.

Sure!
And you didn't step on them that badly.

[hawk_shot]

They should get their eyes checked.
Seriously, I'm worried about these people.

I sucked, Ed.
I was nervous.

[whatam_i]

You're sweet.

You were nervous?
Why?

[hawk_shot]

I mean it.
The Ed I know is an amazing guy.

Because of the way you look at me sometimes.
Most of the time.

[whatam_i]

Not as amazing as you are.

You mean when I gawk?

[hawk_shot]

No, I mean like what you just said.

Like I'm amazing.
I can't prove you wrong by sucking at dancing!

[whatam_i]

Oh!
But your amazingness doesn't have anything to do with your dance skills.

[hawk_shot]

Yeah, I think we've very clearly established that.

[whatam_i]

I think it's cute you can't dance.

[hawk_shot]

You find my failing cute?

You would have loved seeing me fight that Widow then.

[whatam_i]

No, it's not the failing that's cute. It's you.

I'm sure you did better than you think you did.

[hawk_shot]

But what makes me failing at dancing so cute then? That you're biased?

I need to do better tomorrow, that's for sure.

[whatam_i]

It's not failing. You can't really fail if you don't know the steps.

You will.
And if all else fails, go for the eyes, throat or groin.

[hawk_shot]

Ed, we were just swaying around. It wasn't supposed to be so hard.

The worst best advice ever.
But thank you. I hope it doesn't take that, but I'll keep it in mind.

I'm sorry I don't have a place to invite you over anymore. That New York visit will have to wait.

[whatam_i]

You're too hard on yourself.

I'm sorry, I'm not very good at physical fights.

It's okay, that isn't your fault.
Are you staying with friends?

[hawk_shot]

Maybe. But that's what always encouraged me to be the very best at what I do.
I'll learn to dance.

Don't be sorry, you make up for it with your brains.
I'd just like not to... Kill people if I can help it.

I have for the last few days. But I have no idea what I'm gonna do.
There's no way I'm going back to my childhood home. No matter what happens between my mom and I.