[Oswald stares at the floor, unmoving, for what feels like a very long time. Quietly absorbing everything Ed has to say until he falls silent too, and they’re both left to grapple with the ugly reality of life in Gotham. That survival comes always comes at a price, and only the dead, if they’re lucky enough, know true peace.
He lets out a hard, knotted breath that takes all the fight out of him, his shotgun swinging to his side, hanging from his hand. Then, after a brief hesitation, he leans the gun up against a wall. When he finally turns around, he looks the kind of weary that runs down to the bones, as if every troubled, restless night of his own has caught up with him all at once.
In a perfect world, he’d tell Ed that there’s nothing to worry about. That Hugo Strange would never lay a finger on either of them again, and Ed would never hurt him. But they know that isn’t true.]
And if that day comes, Ed... know that I will do everything in my power to stop you, with the understanding that you are not the person responsible.
[He's grateful for Oswald's honesty, it might be brutal and harsh but he'd rather that than a lie.]
Thank you, Oswald.
[He lets out a long, weary sigh and motions at the table.]
So that's what I was working on, something that might help keep that from ever happening. Except I forgot that there was some chemical residue on my work table from a few days ago and it reacted badly with the metal I was using and kaboom.
[As the storm in his head settles, he reconsiders the charred work surface with a faint twinge of sympathy.]
...I can see how focusing your efforts on a project with tangible results would offer you a sense of reassurance and empowerment. But, the solution to the Hugo Strange problem lies in simpler methods. ...Explosions optional.
[It's Ed who reminded him of the Gordian knot, once upon a time.]
[His eyebrows lift slightly, his smile falling.] ...And what about you? If these nightmares are a frequent occurrence, perhaps you ought to be seeing my doctor.
Oh. [A beat. His gaze unfocuses a moment, his mind caught in past events.
There're no longer at a point where their violent history comes up between them like an impenetrable wall. But it hurts, still, to think of how terrible they were to each other and the time they've lost.]
Well... should you happen to reconsider, do let me know. You would be in good hands.
I appreciate the suggestion and will let you know if I change my mind.
[He says and steps closer to wrap his arms around Oswald, hugging him and dropping a kiss on the top of his head as a small apology for bringing up the pier.]
For now I'll tuck you in and if I'm still worried about sleeping I'll do something quiet, like read.
[He says and gives Oswald a small, encouraging smile.]
[Nights are long, riddled with dreams of needles and knives and screams that set his teeth on edge. But the days following their brush with death are longer yet, so drug-addled and sleep-blurred that he can’t tell where one ends and the next begins. In his darkest moments, lying awake in bed and alone with his pain, listening into the silence for Ed’s return, it starts to seem as if he’ll be shaky and weak and useless for the rest of his life. Forced to give up the fight for Gotham, his fight for a place in its history. And it scares him.
But then he wakes up one morning to breakfast in bed and is able to down bites of French toast and scrambled egg without battling nausea. And realizes, after carefully maneuvering his legs over the bedside, that he doesn’t need that second pill with his juice. That he can make that trip to the bathroom without having to stop and lean on the doorway to catch his breath. And eventually, that he can shower, even if it takes twice as long and he has to spend most of it down on the bench, gently soaping his sutures. The difference between being sponge-bathed and sloughing off his clothes and feeling the hot water on his skin, pounding the stiff, guarded muscles of his shoulders, is night and day. The cubicle is hard to leave.
When he finally limps out, drying and dressing himself, he feels exhausted but triumphant. It’s a good day to be alive – and he resolves to enjoy the borrowed time he has left, starting by sitting out on the second floor balcony and quietly contemplating the dawning day between sips of his orange juice. There is room for one more at the small round table; there always will be.]
[A childish part of Ed wants to spend every night by Oswald's side, seeking confirmation that he is there and okay but the adult in him realizes that he won't actually get any rest like that. His body will always be half awake and on alert should Oswald need him, so as much as it pains him he starts sleeping in his own bed at least half the time. He is exhausted from weeks of taking care of his partner and he needs to re-charge.
Which is why on this particular morning he actually sleeps in well past his usual time, Olga is around today and no doubt she will take care of Oswald's breakfast and when he finally gets up to check on Oswald he is pleasantly surprised to find him up, showered and out on the little second floor patio.]
Good morning.
[He says as comes outside, carrying a mug of coffee with him.]
[The sound of Ed's voice puts a sudden pang in his throat - and a strange and powerful yearning overwhelms him, a yearning, somehow, for someone who never left. He offers Ed a smile over his shoulder, the corners of his eyes crinkling.]
Isn’t it just? [He takes Ed in with a fond, weary look, waiting for him to settle.] ...You look well.
[Oswald flushes faintly under Ed's lips, looking down at himself as if he's only just noticing that he is, in fact, dressed. It’s not a brocade robe Ed hasn’t seen before. But a fresh change of clothes is no doubt an improvement.]
I was... [he says, with a chuckle] and now that I have gotten comfortable, getting up again seems quite impossible. But I do not find myself in any particular rush this morning.
[There’s none of his restlessness now; just a rare sense of peace, for once, with the idea of doing nothing at all. It's the first time in years when he has stopped to watch the sun, to feel the shivery warmth of it on his skin. He's surprised that he missed this, too.]
...Beautiful, is it not? [He motions vaguely to the sprawling expanse of his yard.] The sun is shining, a gentle breeze is blowing... I honestly cannot remember the last time the weather was this agreeable.
Why rush when we can just sit and enjoy ourselves. After all I think we've earned it.
[He points out and shifts his chair a little closer to Oswald's, reaching over to lace his hand through the other's while he sips his coffee and looks out at the sunshine.]
[The thrilled look on Ed’s face doesn’t blind Oswald to the fact that caregiving has no doubt taken some toll on him.]
...This means you can rest easier knowing there is one less thing for you to worry about.
[He answers Ed’s kiss with a gentle squeeze of his hand. And lets his thoughts drift a while, just breathing, listening to a soft, distant rustling of leaves. The kind of sound to which he could fall asleep very easily.]
Once again, I feel compelled to thank you for saving my life. And for making these last few weeks more comfortable than they would otherwise have been.
You really don't have to keep thanking me, you saved my life as well Oswald. As for taking care of you, you should know by now that I'm always happy to do so. I love you and want you to always get the best care.
[He says softly and leans his head to rest against Oswald's, looking out across the gardens which are quiet and serene.]
While you were recuperating I had an idea that I'd like to run past you.
[His heart crowds his chest, swollen with all the feelings time and familiarity haven’t dulled. It hurts a good kind of hurt. He could thank Ed a hundred times over, for more than just his acts of service, and it still wouldn’t feel like enough. There are some things that words can't reach. But as they sit there, their heads just touching, he finds himself settling into a comfortable silence, too, unpressured to speak. Not needing to.
[A dull, ugly throbbing forms in the hollow of his stomach as his thoughts return, with Ed's, to the place where their story nearly ended. It takes him a moment to crawl his way out from the depths of that dark, fire-gutted building and back into the present.]
...It is not a foolproof solution. [He points out, after a while. Neither is his reliance on informants, he realizes.] But I am willing to carry one on my person for our mutual peace of mind. All I ask is that it doubles as a tie pin, or something equally convenient and unobtrusive.
[His heart gives a hard thump. Catching and holding Ed's gaze, he feels himself going blankfaced. Feels his next breath stick in his throat as he's left trying to gauge how deeply he's meant to read into the suggestion, if at all. A beat passes and he swallows, looking out onto the estate again.]
A ring, unfortunately, is the most liable to be misplaced. [He notes, treading lightly around Ed's answer.] I fear there is not much room for one under my gloves, and there would be some risk of it tumbling from my pocket. But, all the same... [something tightens in his belly] ...I would not be opposed to the idea.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2024-01-25 03:21 pm (UTC)He lets out a hard, knotted breath that takes all the fight out of him, his shotgun swinging to his side, hanging from his hand. Then, after a brief hesitation, he leans the gun up against a wall. When he finally turns around, he looks the kind of weary that runs down to the bones, as if every troubled, restless night of his own has caught up with him all at once.
In a perfect world, he’d tell Ed that there’s nothing to worry about. That Hugo Strange would never lay a finger on either of them again, and Ed would never hurt him. But they know that isn’t true.]
And if that day comes, Ed... know that I will do everything in my power to stop you, with the understanding that you are not the person responsible.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-25 05:31 pm (UTC)Thank you, Oswald.
[He lets out a long, weary sigh and motions at the table.]
So that's what I was working on, something that might help keep that from ever happening.
Except I forgot that there was some chemical residue on my work table from a few days ago and it reacted badly with the metal I was using and kaboom.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-26 07:29 am (UTC)...I can see how focusing your efforts on a project with tangible results would offer you a sense of reassurance and empowerment. But, the solution to the Hugo Strange problem lies in simpler methods. ...Explosions optional.
[It's Ed who reminded him of the Gordian knot, once upon a time.]
no subject
Date: 2024-01-26 05:54 pm (UTC)That's a good point.
He is overdue for a little bit of payback isn't he?
[Leaning down he kisses Oswald's forehead sweetly.]
Thank you.
I really am sorry I startled you awake.
[He kisses both his cheeks and then his mouth.]
Shall I tuck you back in?
no subject
Date: 2024-01-27 02:28 am (UTC)...tempting. [He answers, after some thought.] But I get the feeling you would only keep me up.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-27 02:35 am (UTC)I promise I won't.
I'll tuck you in, kiss you goodnight and sing you to sleep.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-28 05:02 am (UTC)[Vet by day, a criminal's best friend by night.]
He may have just the thing for you.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-28 05:13 am (UTC)I'd....prefer to not use drugs.
I relied on those a lot after...[He swallows a sudden lump in is throat.] ...after I shot you.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-29 03:21 am (UTC)There're no longer at a point where their violent history comes up between them like an impenetrable wall. But it hurts, still, to think of how terrible they were to each other and the time they've lost.]
Well... should you happen to reconsider, do let me know. You would be in good hands.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-29 03:54 am (UTC)[He says and steps closer to wrap his arms around Oswald, hugging him and dropping a kiss on the top of his head as a small apology for bringing up the pier.]
For now I'll tuck you in and if I'm still worried about sleeping I'll do something quiet, like read.
[He says and gives Oswald a small, encouraging smile.]
post-myrtle business
Date: 2024-05-10 05:50 am (UTC)But then he wakes up one morning to breakfast in bed and is able to down bites of French toast and scrambled egg without battling nausea. And realizes, after carefully maneuvering his legs over the bedside, that he doesn’t need that second pill with his juice. That he can make that trip to the bathroom without having to stop and lean on the doorway to catch his breath. And eventually, that he can shower, even if it takes twice as long and he has to spend most of it down on the bench, gently soaping his sutures. The difference between being sponge-bathed and sloughing off his clothes and feeling the hot water on his skin, pounding the stiff, guarded muscles of his shoulders, is night and day. The cubicle is hard to leave.
When he finally limps out, drying and dressing himself, he feels exhausted but triumphant. It’s a good day to be alive – and he resolves to enjoy the borrowed time he has left, starting by sitting out on the second floor balcony and quietly contemplating the dawning day between sips of his orange juice. There is room for one more at the small round table; there always will be.]
no subject
Date: 2024-05-10 09:23 pm (UTC)Which is why on this particular morning he actually sleeps in well past his usual time, Olga is around today and no doubt she will take care of Oswald's breakfast and when he finally gets up to check on Oswald he is pleasantly surprised to find him up, showered and out on the little second floor patio.]
Good morning.
[He says as comes outside, carrying a mug of coffee with him.]
no subject
Date: 2024-05-11 05:07 am (UTC)Isn’t it just? [He takes Ed in with a fond, weary look, waiting for him to settle.] ...You look well.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-11 05:22 am (UTC)In fact, you look rather dandy.
[He says with a bright smile and leans in to kiss Oswald's cheek.]
Feeling a bit stronger today?
no subject
Date: 2024-05-11 06:50 am (UTC)I was... [he says, with a chuckle] and now that I have gotten comfortable, getting up again seems quite impossible. But I do not find myself in any particular rush this morning.
[There’s none of his restlessness now; just a rare sense of peace, for once, with the idea of doing nothing at all. It's the first time in years when he has stopped to watch the sun, to feel the shivery warmth of it on his skin. He's surprised that he missed this, too.]
...Beautiful, is it not? [He motions vaguely to the sprawling expanse of his yard.] The sun is shining, a gentle breeze is blowing... I honestly cannot remember the last time the weather was this agreeable.
[His bones are grateful for the drier air.]
no subject
Date: 2024-05-12 12:48 am (UTC)[He points out and shifts his chair a little closer to Oswald's, reaching over to lace his hand through the other's while he sips his coffee and looks out at the sunshine.]
It's rare for weather like this in Gotham.
[He's going to take it as a good omen.]
Did Olga get you breakfast already?
no subject
Date: 2024-05-13 01:35 am (UTC)[He holds Ed's gaze. Although Ed’s hand has found his, bridging the gap, he seems so far away, still.]
No awful upset stomach to contend with. I think I am finally recovering from all those antibiotics.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-13 02:55 am (UTC)That is great news. I'm very happy to hear both of those things.
[Especially the part about Oswald enjoying the breakfast, it means he can eat properly again and gain his full strength back.]
no subject
Date: 2024-05-13 06:40 am (UTC)...This means you can rest easier knowing there is one less thing for you to worry about.
[He answers Ed’s kiss with a gentle squeeze of his hand. And lets his thoughts drift a while, just breathing, listening to a soft, distant rustling of leaves. The kind of sound to which he could fall asleep very easily.]
Once again, I feel compelled to thank you for saving my life. And for making these last few weeks more comfortable than they would otherwise have been.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-13 11:39 pm (UTC)As for taking care of you, you should know by now that I'm always happy to do so. I love you and want you to always get the best care.
[He says softly and leans his head to rest against Oswald's, looking out across the gardens which are quiet and serene.]
While you were recuperating I had an idea that I'd like to run past you.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-14 05:11 am (UTC)Then, Ed continues.]
...oh? [He prompts, distantly curious.]
no subject
Date: 2024-05-14 06:00 am (UTC)[He says slowly, trying not to tense up at the memory of waking up in Myrtle's apartment for a second time.]
But it made me think of what could have happened if she had taken me somewhere else.
[He would be a drooling lobotomized idiot, that's what would have happened and he shivers.]
So I was thinking about the idea of making us personal trackers.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-15 06:22 am (UTC)...It is not a foolproof solution. [He points out, after a while. Neither is his reliance on informants, he realizes.] But I am willing to carry one on my person for our mutual peace of mind. All I ask is that it doubles as a tie pin, or something equally convenient and unobtrusive.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-15 04:57 pm (UTC)[He says, looking down at their joined hands and smiling softly. A very faint blush rising to his cheeks.]
no subject
Date: 2024-05-16 02:41 pm (UTC)A ring, unfortunately, is the most liable to be misplaced. [He notes, treading lightly around Ed's answer.] I fear there is not much room for one under my gloves, and there would be some risk of it tumbling from my pocket. But, all the same... [something tightens in his belly] ...I would not be opposed to the idea.